Restorying our Lives
Restorying is where my clinical life and my writing life first met.
For many years, I helped people explore the stories they carried — the ones that gave shape to their identities, and the ones they longed to change. Restorying invites us to return to our lives with curiosity, not judgment, and to ask:
Whose story am I living — and is it mine?
Restorying Our Lives — Six-Week Program (2004–2019)
For over a decade, I taught a six-week writing and mindfulness program that helped people explore the stories that shaped them. We all carry narratives from our past — some helpful, some limiting. Restorying offers space to name those stories gently, reframe, reimagine and rewrite the story for the future.
Through simple writing and reflection exercises, participants traced key moments in their lives, noticed recurring themes, and began rewriting the stories they had long carried.
Much of my writing today stems from what I learned in these groups.
During the pandemic, I adapted the workshop into a self-paced online series — a way for people to continue this work at home, in their own time.
A note:
I no longer run the in-person Restorying workshops, but their themes and insights continue to shape my writing today.
One Day Restorying Workshops
These shorter workshops, which grew out of the six-week program, explore emotional landscapes that continue to shape my writing today.
Click any workshop to read the full description.
Writing Out Shame: A space to name shame gently, trace its origins, and soften its grip.
Writing Out Shame
Is this workshop for me?
- I want to explore difficult feelings and memories in a creative way.
- I have low self-esteem.
- I think everything is my fault.
- I have never felt good enough.
- I feel unlovable.
What is shame?
Shame is the underlying belief that there is something intrinsically wrong with us — I am bad, not good enough, unlovable.
It affects relationships, work, and our ability to care for ourselves.
People who carry shame often feel hypervigilant, fearful of being exposed, and stuck in cycles of self-blame, perfectionism or emotional withdrawal.
Signs of shame:
Thinking may include
- I’m not good enough
- I am unworthy
- I am unlovable
- I can’t trust my own decisions
- I have to be perfect
- Nothing good will happen to me
Behaviour may include
- Addiction (food, alcohol, substances, gambling)
- People pleasing
- Submissiveness
- Obsessive behaviours
- Avoidance of intimacy or unsuitable partners
Emotions may include
- Depression
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Helplessness
- Self-loathing
Writing, Mindfulness & Self-Compassion
This workshop teaches expressive writing, mindfulness and self-compassion as tools to understand and soften shame stories.
These practices help build a kinder, more robust relationship with oneself.
What to expect
You will explore:
- your personal “shame story”
- how it began and formed
- ways to rewrite limiting narratives
- mindfulness and compassion practices
- past, present and future-focused writing exercises
Writing remains private. This is not therapy.
Comments & Questions
“I’m afraid I’ll feel overwhelmed.”
Writing provides grounding and structure.
“Shame seems too big a word — I’m just anxious, perfectionistic.”
These are often symptoms of shame. You belong in the room.
“I won’t feel comfortable in a group.”
Writing is private. Insights, not content, are shared.
Live a life without shame — with writing as your guide.
Written on the Body: Exploring how our stories live in the body — shame, illness, change,
Written on the Body
Is this workshop for me?
- I’ve been on diets all my life.
- I have never liked my body.
- I hate how my body is changing as I age.
- I am living with an illness.
- I have low self-esteem.
Our relationship with our bodies
This is the longest relationship we will ever have — from birth to death.
Yet many of us treat our bodies with neglect, judgment or disdain.
Shame about the body affects:
connection, sexuality, self-esteem, compassion, and joy.
Challenges may include
- Appearance
- Sexuality
- Weight
- Infertility
- Illness
- Ageing
- Loss of function
- Trauma
- Gender
- Ethnicity
The Power of Expressive Writing
Research shows expressive writing
- improves body image
- reduces emotional distress
- supports emotional integration
- shifts self-perception
Writing externalises shame and creates space for a new relationship with the body.
What to expect
Through guided writing exercises you will:
- explore the stories you hold about your body
- recognise how shame has shaped your relationship with it
- reframe these narratives with compassion
- create healthier, more nurturing body stories
This is a writing workshop, not therapy.
Writing remains private.
Comments & Questions
“Illness has changed my body — everything feels different.”
Writing helps explore grief, frustration and acceptance.
“Ageing is normal — why does it feel so hard?”
Our interpretation of ageing often creates more pain than ageing itself.
“I’ve struggled with weight forever.”
This workshop isn’t about changing your body — but changing your relationship with it.
Explore how writing can help you become a better friend to your body.
Exploring Grief & Loss: Looking at grief as a doorway to deeper understanding and connection.
Exploring Grief and Loss
Is this workshop for me?
- Someone close to me has died
- I’m living with illness, ageing or identity change
- I’ve lost a relationship, job, home or dream
- I feel “not myself”
- I feel overwhelmed or untethered
Coping with grief and loss
“In the midst of winter I found there was in me an invincible spring.” — Albert Camus
Some losses are expected; others shatter us.
Some pass quietly; others last a lifetime.
Writing offers space to name, mourn and integrate loss into a coherent life story.
Identifying the losses we carry
Loss may occur in the past, present or future (anticipatory grief).
Loss may involve
- relationships
- health
- abilities
- identity
- youth
- dreams
- safety
- financial stability
- community or global loss
- losing oneself
Healing through writing
Writing helps:
- structure overwhelming
- emotions
- offer clarity and insight
- create coherence
- allow meaning to emerge
- reduce loneliness
What to expect
You will:
- identify personal losses
- explore how grief moves across time
- express difficult feelings safely
- gain new insights
- share only reflections, not stories
This is a structured writing space — not therapy.
Comments & Questions
“I should be over this by now.”
Grief is not bound by time.
“I’m afraid of being overwhelmed.”
Writing provides containment and choice.
“I think I’ve lost myself — does that count?”
Yes — losing oneself is a profound grief.
Ease the pain of loss with writing as your guide.
Getting out of the Man Box: How men learn emotional silence, pressure, and performance,
Getting Out of The Man Box
Is this workshop for me?
You may relate if:
- you feel isolated
- you want deeper relationships
- you feel angry, low or stuck
- you struggle to express feelings
- you feel not good enough
- you want to be a better partner, father or friend
- you’re at a major life crossroads
Men and mental health
Boys and men are often taught to:
- hide emotions
- be strong
- “push through”
This pressure contributes to:
- emotional repression
- higher suicide rates
- increased substance use
- reduced help-seeking
The Power of Expressive Writing
Writing is private and pressure-free.
It helps men:
- access difficult emotions
- increase self-awareness
- shift unhelpful beliefs
- rewrite old masculinity stories
- connect with their inner life
What to expect
- No experience needed
- No sharing stories
- No reading aloud
- Not therapy
- Private, guided writing exercises
You will explore:
- cultural masculinity stories
- personal emotional patterns
- what has held you back
- what you want now
- how to Restory your life moving forward
Comments & Questions
“I’m anxious about being in a group.”
Writing remains private.
“I’m not a writer.”
Everyone can write; the exercises guide you.
“What if strong emotions come up?”
The workshop uses short, contained exercises with grounding strategies.
Explore how writing can help you live a fuller, truer, more connected life.